Maybe I should do this more

I so suck at blogging, but perhaps I should do this more for school

My Thankful List

Yesterday I was thankful for the warmth of an Indian Summer. It was beautiful outside and made it so easy to exercise.

Today I am thankful for a job, even though its only for 28 more days, I have a job and for that I am grateful.

Fears and Frustrations

As we progress more and more into President Barak Obama's 1st term I find myself growing more and more concerned, and yet more hopeful too. Though it seems a dichotomy to be both afraid and hopeful it isn't when you understand why.

This administration seems hell bent on destroying the basic freedoms for which this country was founded. The freedom to succeed or fail at your business is one of our freedoms for which many have fought and died for. But President Obama feels the need to take over private businesses and then work to destroy that business. Capitalism made this country the best country in the world for over 200 years. Now I don't pretend that President Bush was a saint and the perfect President. He wasn't! There was much he did wrong, but, what President Obama is doing has tripled our national debt. Before long our taxes will take nearly all our paychecks.

New York city just raised their taxes by 12.2%, AND made them retroactive back to the 1st of January. That along with State and Federal taxes makes many of the more affluent New Yorkers have a tax rate of 70%! That's right, of every dollar that they make there government takes 70 cents. How long before that is the norm for all of us? States are going bankrupt all over this country from not living within the means that the citizens can support. This problem comes from the government thinking it needs to regulate all aspects of our lives. Right now they are considering removing Nyquil from store shelves because some people....not the majority mind you, just some people.....are addicted or abuse the acetaminophen in that medicine. So they are willing to destroy an entire industry because some can not control themselves. The money it takes to control every aspect of our lives comes from you and me, not from the government. The government has no money!!!, the government takes from us to give back to us? How crazy is that??

I fear for what life will be like for my son if this path towards socialism continues. Will he be able to serve a mission? Will he be able to choose his path in life or will the government try to choose for him? I fear for what kind of things they teach in the school and how I can deprogram him each night. I have to work, I can't homeschool him, so I rely on the government controlled schools to teach him. But what kind of education is he getting if they spend much their time telling him how to teach his parents to go green? These thoughts plauge me at night. But in all of this I still have reason to be at peace and find hope.

I have been reading in the Book of Helaman in the Book of Mormon. Starting in Chapter 4 the story of the Nephites and Lamanites continues, they have just gone through several years of peace and prosperity. They defeted the Gadianton robbers and have turned to God and live in righteousness. But now dissenters have left and joined the unrighteous Lamanites. They have taken the land of Zarahemla and are now working to destroy the church, which dwindles because of wickedness. The people become weak, they look to their government to provide everything for them. (Sound familiar?) Despite the preaching of Nephi and Lehi and the small amount of peace that seems to start, Satan's hold on the Gaddianton robbers takes over and they, through deciet, murder and wickeness take over the government. The people go through several ups and downs, first they are righteous and follow God, then they slid into wickeness. Through all of this the Gaddianton robbers become entrenched in the land. Let's look at that work...entrenched, it means to encroach, infringe, or trespass.

The Gaddianton robbers had encroached on peoples lives, they infringed on their rights and they trespassed on their freedoms. All of these actions I see in our country today, all of these I see this administration striving to do to us! Yes I do see them as Gaddianton Robbers!! So why do I feel peace? Why do I have hope? Because the Nephites did gain their liberty over these robbers, they DID win. They went to battle (no I don't suggest we go to war physically, just figurativly) with them and the result? The Nephite armies defeat the Gadianton robbers—Giddianhi is slain, and his successor, Zemnarihah, is hanged. The Nephites repent and forsake their sins, then what happens after that?? Chapter 11 of 3rd Nephi answers that question:

1 And now it came to pass that there were a great multitude ^agathered together, of the people of Nephi, round about the temple which was in the land ^bBountiful; and they were marveling and wondering one with another, and were showing one to another the ^cgreat and marvelous change which had taken place.

2 And they were also conversing about this Jesus Christ, of whom the ^asign had been given concerning his death.

3 And it came to pass that while they were thus conversing one with another, they heard a ^avoice as if it came out of heaven; and they cast their eyes round about, for they understood not the voice which they heard; and it was not a harsh voice, neither was it a loud voice; nevertheless, and notwithstanding it being a ^bsmall voice it did ^cpierce them that did hear to the center, insomuch that there was no part of their frame that it did not cause to quake; yea, it did pierce them to the very soul, and did cause their hearts to burn.

4 And it came to pass that again they heard the voice, and they ^aunderstood it not.

5 And again the third time they did hear the voice, and did ^aopen their ears to hear it; and their eyes were towards the sound thereof; and they did look steadfastly towards heaven, from whence the sound came.

6 And behold, the third time they did understand the voice which they heard; and it said unto them:

7 Behold my ^aBeloved Son, ^bin whom I am well pleased, in whom I have glorified my name—hear ye him.

8 And it came to pass, as they understood they cast their eyes up again towards heaven; and behold, they ^asaw a Man ^bdescending out of heaven; and he was clothed in a white robe; and he came down and stood in the midst of them; and the eyes of the whole multitude were turned upon him, and they durst not open their mouths, even one to another, and wist not what it meant, for they thought it was an angel that had appeared unto them.

9 And it came to pass that he stretched forth his hand and spake unto the people, saying:

10 Behold, I am Jesus Christ, whom the prophets testified shall come into the world.

11 And behold, I am the ^alight and the life of the world; and I have drunk out of that bitter ^bcup which the Father hath given me, and have glorified the Father in ^ctaking upon me the sins of the world, in the which I have suffered the ^dwill of the Father in all things from the beginning.

12 And it came to pass that when Jesus had spoken these words the whole multitude ^afell to the earth;

Christ came. He showed himself unto all those in the land of Zarahemla. He taught them, healed them, and set aright the affairs of his kingdom again. Peace reined in the land for 400 years!

Yes I have hope, I have peace. I know that the time grows closer and closer till He comes again. 1 Nephi 22:17 says "....Wherefore, the righteous need not fear; for thus saith the prophet, they shall be saved...." I have hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. I have hope in what is to come. Yes times will be hard but they are there for the refinment of us, they are there for our OWN good. I know that if I stand strong and teach my son well we will be blessed. I fear not the arm of man, but glory in the peace of my Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ.

Reflection on Fathers

Being that it is Father's Day naturally one thinks of the fathers in your life. I've had lots of mother figures before but really have only had 3 people I call a father. My own Dad, my husband who is the father of my son and my Heavenly Father and it is of those 3 that I write about today.

My dad was a great man. He was my hero and although he had his faults it seemed like he just got better and better with age. I think I was spoiled by him more than others. I hear my older siblings talk of what a tough disciplinarian he was. That, although they knew he loved them, he was not one to hug to show his love or appreciation. But with me I remember lots of hugs. I remember curling up next to him on the couch while watching television. I remember hugs when he came home at night. I remember a very loving, giving father who was also a tough disciplinarian. Dad passed away 2 years and 1 month ago tomorrow and I still miss him. For me, I think if everyone had a dad like I did, there would be a lot less crazy kooks in the world.

Dad the year before he passed away.

The second father in my life is my husband. David and I tried for 10 1/2 years to become parents. I knew he would make a great dad early on. He is loving, gentle and very steady in his emotions. A great pairing to me who can fly off the handle easily LOL. I was right too, David is a great dad. I think he worried at first that his son would be forever attached to me and never really become close to him. But this last year I started going to work at 6am and David had to get Caleb up in the morning to get him ready for school. During this time they have grown close together and I see Caleb coming to his father more and more to ask questions and such. I think once he starts in Cub Scouts David will really see a change in his son's attitude towards him. He'll be the man with all the answers I'm sure. Caleb does love his father so much and I can see them growing closer as the years go by.



David and Caleb playing peek a boo with me 3 years ago.


Then finally is my Heavenly Father. I have what my patriarchal blessing calls the "gift of faith". I've come to conclude that what that means is I have never struggled to believe in God. To me I've always know that there is more to this life. The thought that death brings an end to all things is as foreign a thought to me as eternal life is to an atheist. So when I was introduced to the gospel of Jesus Christ I knew immediately that what I was just told was real and true and I have never wondered about it since. My Heavenly Father has been my companion my whole life. When I felt the most alone, when I've felt the most happy, my thoughts have naturally turned to Him for gratitude, pleading, or just conversation. I find myself talking to my Heavenly Father when I'm in my garden, driving in my car or lying in bed at night. To me He is REAL, He is there and I am grateful for that knowledge. I am grateful for His presence and His love.

Weight Loss Journey

I started on June 1st to loose the first 10% of my body weight...or 26 pounds through the Biggest Loser program. Yes I am 260lbs. But that's not what this post is about, its about what I've learned so far.

I've learned that water tastes better the more you drink it (I no longer need the flavoring to get my water intake for the day). I've learned that even if you're not loosing each day, eating healthy makes you feel lighter. I've learned that my body can do way more than I thought it can. That when your knees hurt push through it cause they really do start to feel better (I used to have lots of pain going down stairs, but now I can do down them with just a little bit of stiffness). I've have also learned that when you set the example of healthy eating and exercise, your children will follow that example.

Its only been 2 weeks since I've started this Biggest Loser journey and I've lost 10 lbs. I have had a couple of cheat moments....the end of both weeks is when my will power gets low. I'm usually very tired by the end of the week having gotten up at 4am and gone to bed at 10pm, my body starts to wear out. But I sleep in on Saturday and nap on Sunday so by Monday I'm at full power and my will power is right up there with my energy level. So I guess I need to go to bed earlier as the week progresses, so I can keep up the energy/will power!

Regardless I'm enjoying this journey so far, and have not felt deprived but rather invigorated. This is a program I think I can do for the rest of my life. I feel good, and happy, and I hope I can inspire others as I go along.

Garden Woes

My garden is one of the greatest joys of the summer. I love planning it and I start doing so in January. I love going out in the freshly plowed dirt while barefoot and feeling just connected to the earth. I feel alive when I'm working in the garden, getting dirty and sweaty and hot. It is my favorite outside activity.

When we lived in Idaho the dirt was amazing. You could throw seed out into the dirt and it seemed like they grew overnight. But I live in a desert now, and my dirt.....well it does leave much to be desired. Most people with amazing gardens around here have the dirt trucked in from the mountains. But we don't have a truck...or the money to so such a thing, so we started when we moved in with just composting in the area we wanted to garden in. For 4 years we composted and then last year we planted. It wasn't the greatest garden. Most everything died, except the zucchini, one bean plant, a couple of cucumber plants and some lettuce. Everything else died in the Sun....and the alkaline filled clay we have for dirt. So when the season was over, we a had landscaping company dump as many leaves in our garden as he possibly could. It was nearly 8 inches deep in leaves by the time winter hit....with more on the way. They composted down nicely and by this spring the garden was in much better condition.

We also needed to tackle the problem of our extremely hot summer sun. The garden lays at the end of our yard next to the alley, there are no trees to shade it there and as a result it gets the worst of the sun....all day long. So my husband built the most amazing garden shelter that covers most of the garden in shade by the time the hottest sun hits. Inside the shelter the temperature drops almost 20 degrees in the heat of the day. And it looks amazing! He even put a plastic owl on the top to discourage the birds.

So with that done we now planted our garden. It has been a struggle to keep things alive, we have lost most of our beans, they just don't like were we put them. Out of 18 pickling cucumber plants we have 7 left. All of the salad cucumbers died as did the pumpkin and cantaloupe plants. We replaced the cantaloupe and salad cucumbers plants with starts from the nursery and have been working to fertilize the soil. So far things seem to be growing and trying hard. We are even getting blossoms on plants the bloom. I am encouraged by the success we have had so far.

But we're only in June, and it has been a cool summer so far. The real test of the plants, and the husbands shelter will be in July when we normally have 100+ degrees for days on end. I hope the plants will be big enough and strong enough to survive if we get those temperatures this year.

So now we wait, and water, and weed and see what nature, and Heavenly Father provide for us!