Reflection on Fathers

Being that it is Father's Day naturally one thinks of the fathers in your life. I've had lots of mother figures before but really have only had 3 people I call a father. My own Dad, my husband who is the father of my son and my Heavenly Father and it is of those 3 that I write about today.

My dad was a great man. He was my hero and although he had his faults it seemed like he just got better and better with age. I think I was spoiled by him more than others. I hear my older siblings talk of what a tough disciplinarian he was. That, although they knew he loved them, he was not one to hug to show his love or appreciation. But with me I remember lots of hugs. I remember curling up next to him on the couch while watching television. I remember hugs when he came home at night. I remember a very loving, giving father who was also a tough disciplinarian. Dad passed away 2 years and 1 month ago tomorrow and I still miss him. For me, I think if everyone had a dad like I did, there would be a lot less crazy kooks in the world.

Dad the year before he passed away.

The second father in my life is my husband. David and I tried for 10 1/2 years to become parents. I knew he would make a great dad early on. He is loving, gentle and very steady in his emotions. A great pairing to me who can fly off the handle easily LOL. I was right too, David is a great dad. I think he worried at first that his son would be forever attached to me and never really become close to him. But this last year I started going to work at 6am and David had to get Caleb up in the morning to get him ready for school. During this time they have grown close together and I see Caleb coming to his father more and more to ask questions and such. I think once he starts in Cub Scouts David will really see a change in his son's attitude towards him. He'll be the man with all the answers I'm sure. Caleb does love his father so much and I can see them growing closer as the years go by.



David and Caleb playing peek a boo with me 3 years ago.


Then finally is my Heavenly Father. I have what my patriarchal blessing calls the "gift of faith". I've come to conclude that what that means is I have never struggled to believe in God. To me I've always know that there is more to this life. The thought that death brings an end to all things is as foreign a thought to me as eternal life is to an atheist. So when I was introduced to the gospel of Jesus Christ I knew immediately that what I was just told was real and true and I have never wondered about it since. My Heavenly Father has been my companion my whole life. When I felt the most alone, when I've felt the most happy, my thoughts have naturally turned to Him for gratitude, pleading, or just conversation. I find myself talking to my Heavenly Father when I'm in my garden, driving in my car or lying in bed at night. To me He is REAL, He is there and I am grateful for that knowledge. I am grateful for His presence and His love.

Weight Loss Journey

I started on June 1st to loose the first 10% of my body weight...or 26 pounds through the Biggest Loser program. Yes I am 260lbs. But that's not what this post is about, its about what I've learned so far.

I've learned that water tastes better the more you drink it (I no longer need the flavoring to get my water intake for the day). I've learned that even if you're not loosing each day, eating healthy makes you feel lighter. I've learned that my body can do way more than I thought it can. That when your knees hurt push through it cause they really do start to feel better (I used to have lots of pain going down stairs, but now I can do down them with just a little bit of stiffness). I've have also learned that when you set the example of healthy eating and exercise, your children will follow that example.

Its only been 2 weeks since I've started this Biggest Loser journey and I've lost 10 lbs. I have had a couple of cheat moments....the end of both weeks is when my will power gets low. I'm usually very tired by the end of the week having gotten up at 4am and gone to bed at 10pm, my body starts to wear out. But I sleep in on Saturday and nap on Sunday so by Monday I'm at full power and my will power is right up there with my energy level. So I guess I need to go to bed earlier as the week progresses, so I can keep up the energy/will power!

Regardless I'm enjoying this journey so far, and have not felt deprived but rather invigorated. This is a program I think I can do for the rest of my life. I feel good, and happy, and I hope I can inspire others as I go along.

Garden Woes

My garden is one of the greatest joys of the summer. I love planning it and I start doing so in January. I love going out in the freshly plowed dirt while barefoot and feeling just connected to the earth. I feel alive when I'm working in the garden, getting dirty and sweaty and hot. It is my favorite outside activity.

When we lived in Idaho the dirt was amazing. You could throw seed out into the dirt and it seemed like they grew overnight. But I live in a desert now, and my dirt.....well it does leave much to be desired. Most people with amazing gardens around here have the dirt trucked in from the mountains. But we don't have a truck...or the money to so such a thing, so we started when we moved in with just composting in the area we wanted to garden in. For 4 years we composted and then last year we planted. It wasn't the greatest garden. Most everything died, except the zucchini, one bean plant, a couple of cucumber plants and some lettuce. Everything else died in the Sun....and the alkaline filled clay we have for dirt. So when the season was over, we a had landscaping company dump as many leaves in our garden as he possibly could. It was nearly 8 inches deep in leaves by the time winter hit....with more on the way. They composted down nicely and by this spring the garden was in much better condition.

We also needed to tackle the problem of our extremely hot summer sun. The garden lays at the end of our yard next to the alley, there are no trees to shade it there and as a result it gets the worst of the sun....all day long. So my husband built the most amazing garden shelter that covers most of the garden in shade by the time the hottest sun hits. Inside the shelter the temperature drops almost 20 degrees in the heat of the day. And it looks amazing! He even put a plastic owl on the top to discourage the birds.

So with that done we now planted our garden. It has been a struggle to keep things alive, we have lost most of our beans, they just don't like were we put them. Out of 18 pickling cucumber plants we have 7 left. All of the salad cucumbers died as did the pumpkin and cantaloupe plants. We replaced the cantaloupe and salad cucumbers plants with starts from the nursery and have been working to fertilize the soil. So far things seem to be growing and trying hard. We are even getting blossoms on plants the bloom. I am encouraged by the success we have had so far.

But we're only in June, and it has been a cool summer so far. The real test of the plants, and the husbands shelter will be in July when we normally have 100+ degrees for days on end. I hope the plants will be big enough and strong enough to survive if we get those temperatures this year.

So now we wait, and water, and weed and see what nature, and Heavenly Father provide for us!